What is the sacrifice necessary for fatherhood? Part two - Selfless improvement.

To be the best father possible, you must focus on yourself while dying to yourself. This is more than just standard self improvement, although a lot can be learned through those methods and corresponding habits. This is more about changing your focus or orientation.  What is the difference between selfish gains and sacrificial improvement? Love, prioritization and how one measures success.

Love historically has meant selfless service. This has been especially true of men. This makes love much more than strong feelings. It is what you will commit and dedicate yourself to. As fathers, our wife and children are the focus of our service and dedication. We love them, so we work hard to be the best person to serve our families. It is in this context of love that we must improve ourselves.

Our priorities then must be on what we need to be as fathers, not what we want to be as individuals. This is a high price. The good news is some things overlap. For example, you're a better father and man if you are psychically fit. Working out then can accomplish both a personal and fatherly goal. The same can be said for emotional well being, financial success and a good morning routine.

The sacrifice gets harder when it comes to the things fathers need to give up. Porngrahy, alcohol, junk food and other addictions must be given up or reduced. Then there is the time and energy costs that require giving up sleep and entertainment. Being a father is hard work. It is the process and art of prioritizing what we do not what to do at the cost of selfish pursuits. Everyone struggles with this. Our calling as fathers is to join this struggle for the sake of family.

Lastly, we need to measure our progress. This is more difficult when it comes to goals like dying to yourself so your children have the father they need. However, it can be done when broken down in smaller daily, weekly and monthly tasks. Here are some examples: read daily with your children; have dinner around the table twice weekly; lead a family meeting each week; plan a family adventure each month. These are measurable and as time goes on you will get better at them and your family will too. 

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